“terminator genisys” poster sets a creepy precedent

He’s back…sort of. He’s not really.

After a set of semi-disappointing screen shots from the set of Terminator: Genisys, people haven’t been exactly clambering for a taste of sweet sweet T-1000. Well the people at the film’s official website have upped the anti, and they’ve upped it hard, with this poster for the latest in the robo-apocalyptic saga:

Not bad right? Motion posters don’t get used nearly as much as they should, mainly because if they’re done badly they wind up looking like a botched DVD menu screen. But I’ve got to say that this one is just the right combination of creepy and foreboding. The dissolving skull raises a whole flock of questions, the main one being is there going to be some kind of techno-disease that gets used against the machines?

The poster is paving a way for the trailer that will be uploaded on Thursday, along with the latest announcements for Bond 24. The film is directed by Alan Taylor who did a decent enough job with Thor: The Dark Worldand stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jason Clarke, Jai Courtney (playing Kyle Reese), J.K. Simmons, Byung-hun Lee and Matt Smith.

What do you think of the motion poster? Has it got you hankering for a full trailer?

“Force awakens” teaser closing in on “age of ultron”‘s record

Oh mercy, not more Star Wars news…

Just kidding, we love it really! Dozens of sites have been singing the trailer’s praises as a cure-all for the winter blues, but THR has a new accolade for the sneak peek at Episode VII: It’s gotten 40 million hits in the last seventy two hours:

Just think about how much we’ve all been talking about the trailer, about every aspect, every still and every costume, all the parodies and the comparisons and fan films and the tattoos. Now think about the fact that this trailer has only existed for three days!

For every second of footage, the video has been viewed 454,545 times. What seems to excite people most about this fact is that it blew Fifty Shades Of Grey right out of the water, putting the erotic romance’s 36.4 million YouTube views in four days to shame.

But that’s chicken feed compared to the real prize. Star Wars may have bested Shades, but now its got one of the fiercest villains in the universe to deal with…and James Spader!

Something something something strings!
Something something something strings!

Oh, we haven’t forgotten about Avengers: Age of Ultron. In its first five days it managed to hit 50.6 million views, which is completely unprecedented in 2014 for the debut of a feature. The question now is this: will Star Wars break the record? Will Serkis’ voiceover trump Spader’s? We only have to wait two more days to find out!

Who do you think is gonna win?

Wait, what? bizarre trailer for french film “why i have not eaten my father”

Sometimes you have to go looking for weird movie news, sometimes it lands right in your lap; and sometimes Youtube posts it in your recommended videos.

This is the trailer for an upcoming French animated film set in the prehistoric era and follows a mid-evolution human-ish family. Sound a little familiar? Yeah, this is pretty much a French version of The Croods, except the animation is a little outdated and Nicholas Cage isn’t in it…as far as we know. The film’s title in French is Pourquoi j’ai pas mangé mon pèrewhich translates into Why I Have Not Eaten My Father. Oh by the way, this is a family film!

And it’s not just the setting that feels a little familiar. Check out the trailer, straight from Youtube:


 

Just when you thought cheetahs couldn't get any cuter.
Just when you thought cheetahs couldn’t get any cuter.

And here’s The Croods trailer for a fun comparison:

 

I have to admit, I love the way they designed the animals in both of these films. Before you start worrying that lawsuits will be filed  and French witnesses will be mercilessly dubbed, it’s worth mentioning that Why I Have Not Eaten My Father is based on a book that was written in 1960, entitled What We Did To Father.

So hopefully we’ll be seeing this French gem nominated for a foreign language/animated feature Oscar. No? Well The Croods got one!

The film is scheduled for release on 15th April 2015.

Just a Moment: 1001 movies in 10 minutes

Do you ever see those enormous “1001 (blanks) you have to (blank) before you die? Do you ever consider buying one? No of course not – have you seen the size of them? Like I’m going through all that rigmarole. Couldn’t someone just tell me the films so I don’t have to bother? While I’m on the subject, why doesn’t my computer run fast enough and why do my feet hurt all the time?

Well, I can solve one of those problems for you. More specifically, Jonathan Keogh can, as he’s been kind enough to compress all 1,001 films that we must see before we die into a neat ten minute package. Just ten minutes!

Alright it’s 10:37, but what do you want from me!?

The original book, 1001 Films You Must See Before You Die, was edited by Steven Jay Schneider. Here’s Keogh’s video, straight from the good folks at Vimeo:

1,001 Movies You Must See (Before You Die) from Jonathan Keogh on Vimeo.
This is a handy little list for any film fanatic. There’s a whole mess of classics and pop culture gems in the mix, as well as a hefty dose of unknowns and rarities. According to Keogh, this video took a year to edit, and it shows in the overall quality and the melted chocolate smoothness of the transition from title to title. The video also includes 200 films that aren’t included in the book, which according to Keogh he included “not because…they’re must sees, but because I felt they complimented the video better”. I have to agree, it’s a thing of beauty. The video did have a home on Youtube but has since been removed.

What did you think of the video? Any films you think were missed out?

The Tables have turned: Van Damme returning to kickboxer as the master

I don’t know about you, but there was one great revelation to come out of The Expendables 2: Jean-Claude Van Damme can still do the shit out of an air kick. So I can only assume that THR’s announcement of his return to his Alma Mater franchise Kickboxer is simply to prove to the world that the kick wasn’t just a fluke because he’d had a red bull that day.

In the original 1989 version, Van Damme played Kurt Sloane, who made a triumphant journey from corner-man to kick-boxing champion by strategically placing his foot in people’s faces every now and again. While the action star was right to keep a 10 mile radius between himself and the four sequels to Kickboxer, fans of the original should be excited to see Jean-Claude himself return for the remake; not as Kurt Sloane, but as the master who turns Sloane into a violent killing machine…with a buttery accent.

kb12
Go on, look at my scrotum! Look at it!

The role was originally going to be played by Tony Jaa, who will undoubtedly be making a strong impression in Fast and Furious 7 after a turn in Ong Bak and The Protector. But due to scheduling conflicts Jaa is out, and Van Damme is in!

This time around, Sloane will be played by newcomer Alain Moussi. The plot appears to be a little different to the original, as is the fashion with reboots, but the film will still take place in Thailand. A few fighting legends will be joining the fray as well, including Dave Bautista – fresh off the back of Guardians of the Galaxy – who is reported to play the villain Tong Po. Georges St Pierre, who you’ll remember playing Captain America’s nemesis the Winter Soldier, is also said to have a part. The project will be directed by John Stockwell.

Personally I’m interested to see how Van Damme fairs in a solo project post-Expendable 2. Although if his work in the Coors Light adverts is anything to go by, he will most definitely be drunk.

 

Hey, did you know David Goyer produced Kickboxer 2: The Road Back? Seriously, you think you know a guy.

Are you excited to see a Kickboxer reboot?

Great minds think alike: Edgar wright predicts award winners in his top 10

Is Edgar Wright psychic or does he just have a polished taste in films?

Esquire has officially announced it’s cutoff point for good movies this year by getting the ball rolling with end-of-year lists. These top 10’s are often a little time and memory-sensitive, giving a lot more attention to the more recent Oscar-friendly sweet-spot. So it’s a good thing they brought in a renowned nerd to get the countdown started: Mr Edgar Wright. Here’s his top 10 for 2014:

Birdman
Boyhood
Edge of Tomorrow
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Interstellar
The LEGO Movie
Nightcrawler
Snowpiercer
Under the Skin
Whiplash

Granted there are a good few Oscar season entries here like Boyhood, Whiplash and Birdman. But it’s nice to see a few throwbacks to earlier 2014 success like Grand Budapest. Hey, remember when none of us could stop talking about The LEGO Movie? Ahh, heady days.

snowpiercer
Wright has a special place in his heart for Sci-fi, rating “Snowpiercer” and “Under The Skin” among the year’s best.

Well whether it was deliberate or not, Wright has more or less hit the nail on the head in terms of award hopefuls. Around the same time, the International Press Academy announced its nominations for the 19th annual Satellite Awards. There are 19 film categories along with 12 for TV, 2 for DVD’s and 4 for games. Here are the nominees for Best Picture – see if anything looks familiar:

Birdman                                                                                                                         Boyhood,                                                                                                                            Gone Girl,                                                                                                                          Love Is Strange                                                                                                                  Mr. Turner                                                                                                                      Selma,                                                                                                                                    The Grand Budapest Hotel,                                                                                        The Imitation Game                                                                                                       The Theory of Everything                                                                              Whiplash

Aside from a few more Oscar-friendly choices, Wright’s choice for the top 10 halfway towards perfect. No doubt some of his other choices will rear their heads in the yet-to-be-announced categories. It was a surprise to not see Interstellar on the list, but then Nolan films do have that tendency. Love Is Strange is probably the biggest surprise to appear on the list, despite being an unavoidably lovable film. Hopefully there’ll be a few more rugs pulled out from under us as more nominations come in, so we’ll keep you posted.

"Love Is Strange" stole its fair share of hearts earlier in the year.
“Love Is Strange” stole its fair share of hearts earlier in the year.

Oh, and you may be thinking that The LEGO Movie was hardly a contender for a nomination. But Edgar wasn’t totally off base as it got a nomination for the upcoming Annie Awards. So who looks silly now? Probably me again.

What do you think of the Satellite Awards nominations? Did any of your 2014 favourites miss out on a nomination?

Trailer fail? First look at Jason Statham’s “Wild Card”

I have this mate. He’s mental, properly crazy. The kind of guy who parties hard and makes you forget all your problems, downing shots and making out with girls while he pays someone to stick drawing pins in his legs. Why? Just to prove he can. He’s responsible for some of the greatest drunken laugh-out-loud collapse-into-your-own-vomit nights of your life, and you’ll love him forever for it. He also forgets to drive you to the airport, hits on your girlfriend and occasionally steal from you. I call him my “Jason Statham Movie mate”.

You simply can’t pin down a Statham movie. Half the time he’s the best action star on the planet, the other half he’s Jennifer Lopez’s chauffeur.

The latest trailer has just surfaced for his latest endeavour, Wild Card. Directed by Simon West, who’s worked with Statham in The Mechanic and Expendables 2, the film follows Statham’s character Nick Wild (oh I get it) as a former marine and current gambler, trying to put his past behind him and live in peace. have a look at the trailer, straight from Youtube:

Along with the trailer is this poster, in which Statham has the look of a man who hasn’t been to this restaurant before and doesn’t know where the bathroom is, but doesn’t want to ask.

"He's All In" is actually a note from the photographer, confirming Statham was in the shot.
“He’s All In” is actually a note from the photographer, confirming Statham was in the shot.

Now this is all conjecture – the film could be a diamond. But despite the decent-looking action scenes it seems a little too bland in a few too many places. Also there’s the unfortunate bad luck charm that is the incomparable Stanley Tucci, who’s been an early warning signal for a few stinkers over the last few years.

The film is written by William Goldman, adapted from his own novel entitled Heat which was adapted before in 1987 in a film starring Burt Reynolds. This latest incarnation also stars Sofia Vergara and Anne Heche, hitting theatres at the end of January. Let’s hope there’s more bite than the trailer suggests.

Fan of Steel: Is this the first tattoo of the new Star Wars trilogy?

There are full length feature films that won’t get half as much online chatter as the new 88-second Star Wars teaser has fostered in the last four days. It’s entirely understandable though: the thought of a new Star Wars film is as exciting as it is petrifying. We all it want it to be amazing so badly, but we’ve been burned by new hopes before. So it’s nice to argue and obsess over something smaller, something tangible and bite sized that we know we can handle. Essentially, we are the parent who spends weeks picking the right taps for the kitchen so that we don’t have to think about the fact that our kids might be arse holes.

But in the middle of all that mania, there was a man. His name was Jordan Breckon, and the moment he saw the teaser trailer he ran out and got this tattooed on his leg:

The man. The leg. The legend.
The man. The leg. The legend.

You’ll probably recognise this as the roller-ball droid featured in the teaser (I’d mention the number of seconds into the video it appears, but you already know that don’t you?). The likeness is pretty damn good, not to mention it’s kind of enormous. The choice of a ball shaped droid for this possible lapse of judgement is a perfect visualisation: whether you like it or not, Jordan Breckon has balls.

We talk a big game out here, but if we’re honest we don’t have the first idea what’s going to be coming in the next Star Wars film. We have ideas, sure we have ideas, big general plot points and the like, but we couldn’t storyboard a scene. We couldn’t give it a rating out of five. We couldn’t name more than three of the characters. That roller-ball droid could be anything. It could be a bad guy, it could be the disappointing comic relief. It could be a racist. It could be a racist. But Jordan Breckon doesn’t care. His balls are too big to care about that kind of minutia. He saw something awesome in the moment and paid a professional to draw it on his skin forever. I envy everything this man is and everything I will never be. I still can’t decide which avenger I want to be in my imagination! 

When asked about his reaction to all this attention by Buzzfeed, Breckon said “Of course some people will hate and believe what I did is stupid, but that I already knew would happen as you cannot please everyone!”

We all want The Force Awakens to be awe-inspiring. We all want J.J. Abrams to do our childhood justice. We want it for ourselves. But now, I don’t want the film to be good for my sake. I want it to be good for Jordan Breckon’s.

…Seriously though, his mum’s gonna go ape-shit.